I’m Calling It Sculpture

It is good to be honest with yourself, particularly about yourself.



I started Daughter of the Regiment in late 2012.



In early 2013 she fell victim to the Great Knit Picks Needle Plague, which temporarily also infected whatever that bamboo one is sticking out on the left.


It took until late 2014 before I had the energy to fix what was lost in the plague. But then I didn’t do a whole hell of a lot else with her for a while. I was starting to wonder if we might not be totally meant for each other.



I finished her skirt and got her jacket set-up row done last fall. Then, back in the basket.


Yesterday I stumbled across her again, and you know how I was saying recently that I’m having this urge to clear out the things I don’t need/love/use?



Yeah. I just couldn’t stand having this sock sitting around unfinished for another fucking minute. I looked at this last night and all I could feel was DONE. I rushed through the jacket. I did so much wrong, partly from not reading the pattern closely enough and partly from just not even really caring, and I shortened the whole thing significantly and I got to the instructions to switch to 1×1 twisted rib on both sides and I had a good laugh and then knit just enough regular ribbing to squeeze in the last button and called it a day. I barely wove in any of the ends. I completely ignored an entire applied braid thing I was supposed to do at the end, and that second-from-the-top contrasting band of red? I’m not even sure how I was supposed to do that, because I had actually stopped looking at the pattern by then. I just did a chain with a crochet hook and almost cried when I pulled the loose end through at the last stitch.


I knew the second I picked her back up yesterday that she would never have a sibling. It felt good to finally admit that to myself.

Don’t get me wrong. This is an impressive pattern. Impressive both because, well, look at it, but also because it’s written in a way that lets you recreate this thing at all. But also, let’s be honest. This is not a sock you would put inside a shoe, and me personally I just can’t see myself lounging around in socks that have both a skirt and buttons — much as the skirt and buttons were almost the whole reason I ever wanted to knit this in the first place. So I’ll need to find a way to put her on display, I guess, because as soon as I snipped that last yarn end, Only Child of the Regiment moved firmly, permanently into the realm of art.



This here is absurdly mistake-ridden and nearly an insult to the pattern, the designer, the yarn, and the buttons. But whatevs. Life is short and this knitting was long and eventually you have to choose sides in that battle.


The DONE feeling extended to all the finishing stuff, really, which was a surprise to me. Usually I’m fine leaving ends unwoven or entire items unwashed and unblocked if I’m sick enough of them. This one I wanted to be really, truly done with so bad that I stuck her right in the sink and then played around with making a cardboard sock blocker while she soaked so I could get something like a finished photo right away. (This went about as well as everything else has with this sock, but I blame the fact that I couldn’t find my left-handed scissors.) I didn’t even wait for my husband to get home and photoshop them for me, that’s how DONE I am with this sock.



Entirely done. Well, once it dries, I guess. But then, for sure. DONE.

Pattern: Daughter of the Regiment by Lisa Grossman
Yarn: Holiday Yarns FlockSock Sock from the kit
Needles: 8,000,000,000 different 2 mm needles — bamboo DPN’s that I bent, wood DPN’s that I snapped, KP circs that broke, a bamboo circ that snapped, a Karbonz circ for about 5 minutes until I pulled it for another project, and then more bent bamboo DPN’s last night because that was how few fucks I had left.
Started: 12/28/12
Finished: 5/2/16

One thought on “I’m Calling It Sculpture

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *