My Little Secret

I have a story to tell you. It’s a story I haven’t been telling you for a little while now. The sort of story you have to wait a few months to know for sure whether you can tell it.

While I haven’t been telling you this story, I have been thinking about it a lot. It’s been like a little secret, growing inside me until the day it was ready to be shared with the world. It’s only appropriate I should think about it so much because it does represent an important, permanent change in our lives.

For three months now I’ve been waiting for today, waiting to have one final test to know for sure. The results are in. I’m sure.

My Essure implants were a success! I'm sterile!

My Essure implants were a success! I’m sterile!

Those of you who know me and Dan personally know how badly we’ve always wanted never to have children. To know that it’s finally a reality, to look at this image and think about the wonderful things our future might bring, to realize our family is truly complete now–well, it’s a feeling I can’t easily describe. I know the coming months will be an exciting time for us both as the reality of this whole thing dawns on us and we move into the next phase of our lives.

I couldn’t be more thrilled to share this news with you. I hope you’ll join me in celebrating this joyous event.

It'll never be a girl! Or a boy!

It’ll never be a girl! Or a boy!

26 thoughts on “My Little Secret

  1. Oh, you wonderful Sasshole. I’m so happy for the definitely only two and not more of you! (I hope you like my new word!)

  2. Ha, this made me chuckle. I was looking at the x-ray and thinking “but, that’s not a baby.” *sigh* 😉 Congrats!

  3. I was wondering when you’d break the news! Sooo, when do we get to throw you a no-baby shower?

    Weirdly enough, I had a customer earlier this week who was like your non-vehemently-childfree twin.

    1. I should totally register for gifts so you can throw me a shower!

      Also, be vigilant for Randimposters. They are out there, but you can only recognize them by their proximity to children.

  4. This must be such a wonderful time for you; I keep rereading this and laughing victoriously on your behalves. Also, it’s a blogpost for the ages.Totes can’t wait for the no baby shower; I will HANG CREPE PAPER.

    1. I tell you, if I could get people to sign on for the give-Randi-yarn-because-she’ll-never-get-pregnant-and-therefor-has-so-much-free-time shower, I would totes bring you in as Chief Crepe Paper Officer.

  5. Bri and I talked about doing something like that a while ago (the shower not becoming sterile lol). We want to throw a “I work multiple jobs and still go to school and have no child so buy me things” party. I think we should get a group together and have a swap 🙂

    1. I believe one should be able to demand any sort of shower any time they feel they’re being deprived if critical fun-time supplies. Anything can be an important event if you look at it right. “But this is the only day all year I’ve eaten only foods that start with the letter ‘p’! We need to celebrate!!”

  6. I seriously have a picture of my empty uterus hanging on my fridge right next to the ultrasounds from my kids. It makes me smile just as much.

  7. I never saw this post, so I guess I’m way behind. But yay! Congratulations! Isn’t this something they wouldn’t let you do a while ago? You have a lovely uterus, my dear. And it’s such a relief when you don’t have to remember anything and don’t have to worry about anything sneaking up there (I say this because I switched from my IUD to a diaphragm, and though I’m much happier now, it can be a pain in the ass). As for the showers…I was grateful for it because I did need the stuff for Aidan, but seriously, it was just exhausting and I don’t like being the center of attention (hence stealing your and dan’s wedding theme). Anyway, I’m really happy for you on the completion of your family, that must be a wonderful feeling!

    1. Thanks! I’m still super excited about it. It makes everything so much easier. The pill was really starting to fuck up my emotional stability (not that I had much to begin with). I did have to go to a few different doctors to get it done, but overall it was simple enough.

  8. Wow, I missed this too! I do read your blog, I swear. 🙂 I must have been busy in July. Anyway, CONGRATS! Duy laughed at me because as I read this post I said out loud, “Wow, Randi got Essure! Good job, man!” If you ever want to write up a blow-by-blow, I would totally read it.

    1. I very well may do the blow-by-blow. The doctor turned out to be kind of a fool so it would be an interesting tale to tell.

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